What was it like for you being a teenager? What were your struggles?
The truth of the matter is that no one survives adolescence unscathed. For some, the high school years are fantastic and for others just plain miserable. Whichever path you were on it is likely that you experienced the pain of heartbreak, the sting of rejection and some confusion about who you were “supposed” to be.
If you ever wondered if those issues from high school were over and gone all you have to do is have a teenager of your own. If you have any unresolved issues they are likely to be triggered by your teenager. That is a therapists way of saying that your teen will push your buttons and some of those “buttons” may bring you right back to high school.
Do you remember these feelings?
What do you do when your teen says they hate you and don’t want to be around you? That is the pain of rejection. Of course it doesn’t help that you have sacrificed to give your teen a comfortable and happy life and he never says thank you! What do you do when your teen won’t follow your directions and is constantly defying you? There is that powerless feeling from high school when no one would listen to you. What about when your teen is failing in school? How does that affect you? It might depend on whether you were a good student or if you struggled yourself.
The annoying thing about unresolved issues is that they can really sneak up on you. You may wonder why you get so mad at your teen about certain things and at certain times.
Why do some things he does just drive you crazy? One place to look for answers is in your own adolescent experience. It might be a great idea to talk to your spouse, a good friend or even a therapist if your past is putting up roadblocks for you. For better and worse you are affected by your past.
The good news is it is never too late to work on those issues from long ago to find more joy and less struggle in parenting your teen. You can start today.
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